Sympathy Messages: What to Write in a Sympathy Card

What to Write in a Sympathy Card

Say you're sorry. Use their loved one's name if you can. Add one true thing, like a memory or a kind of help you will really give. Then sign your name. A few plain words in your own hand mean more than a long poem.

Sympathy Card Messages

Find the loss you're writing about below. Every message is ready to copy; change any word so it sounds like you.

Sympathy Message for Loss of Mother

Write a message for the loss of a mother ›

Sympathy Message for Loss of Father

Write a message for the loss of a father ›

Sympathy Message for Loss of Husband or Wife

Someone who loses a husband or wife loses the person they shared every day with. Say so gently, and offer help with the ordinary things.

For the loss of a husband › For the loss of a wife ›

Sympathy Message for Loss of a Son or Daughter

Losing a child is the hardest loss there is. Keep it short. Say their child's name, and don't try to explain anything.

For the loss of a son › For the loss of a daughter ›

Sympathy Message for Loss of Brother or Sister

For the loss of a brother › For the loss of a sister ›

Sympathy Message for Loss of a Grandparent

For the loss of a grandmother › For the loss of a grandfather ›

Sympathy Message for a Friend

With a friend, write the way you'd talk to them. Use their loved one's name, and offer something you'll really do.

Write a message for a friend ›

Pet Sympathy Messages

Wondering what to say to someone who lost a pet? Treat it as the real loss it is. Use the pet's name, and never suggest getting another one.

Write a message for the loss of a pet ›

Short Sympathy Messages

When the card is small, or the flowers come with a tiny note, a single line is plenty:

• With heartfelt sympathy.
• Thinking of you during this hard time.
• Wrapping you in love today.
• In loving memory of [Name].
• Remembering [Name] with you today.
• Hoping you feel surrounded by love.
• You are in my heart.
• Peace and comfort to you and your family.
• Sorry doesn't say enough. I'm here.
• Grieving with you, and here for you.

How to Sign a Sympathy Card

End with a short closing line, then your name. Choose a sympathy card closing that fits how close you are.

For close friends and family

• With love and sympathy,
• Holding you close,
• All my love, always,
• Thinking of you with love,

For coworkers, neighbors and acquaintances

• With deepest sympathy,
• With sincere condolences,
• Thinking of you,
• Warmly,

When you share their faith

• Praying for you,
• With love and prayers,
• God bless you and keep you,

Signing for a group? Write each name, or "The Smith family", or "Everyone at [workplace]".

Help Writing Your Own

If none of these quite fit, our Condolence Message Writer writes three messages for your situation: who you're writing to, who they lost, and a memory if you'd like to add one. Each comes with a fitting verse and a short prayer. For a verse to add to your card, see our sympathy Bible verses.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should you not say in a sympathy card?

Avoid words that explain the loss or make it smaller: "Everything happens for a reason," "They're in a better place," "At least they're not suffering," or "I know exactly how you feel." Don't ask how the person died, and don't give advice about grieving. Kindness is enough.

How soon should you send a sympathy card?

Within two weeks is ideal, but it's never too late. A card that comes a month or two later, when the flowers are gone and the calls have slowed, can mean the most of all.

What if you didn't know the person who died?

Write to the person you do know, and say so plainly: "I didn't know your father, but I know how much he meant to you." Then tell them you're sorry, and that you're thinking of them.